Self-Help My Family

Last year I went to the Library seeking enlightenment and checked one of those “Self-Help Your Family” books. It was a book by Richard and Linda Eyre.

And I was SO thrilled to be able to have in my two little hands a book that would help me help my children be responsible.

And so I began the anticipated journey of reading, studying and applying so I could teach my regular children who would gloriously transform into responsible, polite, well-mannered, well-organized children.

BTW, did you KNOW that Richard and Linda Eyre have NINE children?

NINE!

What I mean to say is this: Unless you have ten or more children, you cannot say, “Well, I tried what the Eyres suggested and well, it just didn’t work!”

Because I HONESTLY had to put the book down (numerous times, mind you), turn to my husband in disbelief and say, “It would be easy for me to poo-hoo this information if they were a family of two children - one in college and the other in pre-school - But honey, THEY HAVE NINE KIDS!”

To which my husband responded, “So what?”

“So what?” I mustered. “SO WHAT?? I’ll tell you WHAT! It means if they can effectively teach their NINE children responsibility with all these activities and lessons and discipline tools and rewards and consequences with spiritual direction, have it all planned and well-orchestrated AND documented to put in a book for parents to read, it means that WE SHOULD BE ABLE TO DO IT WITH LESS CHILDREN THEN THEY HAVE!!!!”

To which my husband casually responded, “So?”

“So? That’s all you’re going to say is SO?”

“Honey,” he’s replied in smiling mode now because I was all up tight, “all I am saying is that we are not the Eyres. We don’t have to be the Eyres. . .We just need to be us.”

“Yes, but just look at US! Look at our children. They complain about chores. They argue about who’s going to be the first to lick the bowl, and the last to get in the car. . . They don’t even go to bed when they are supposed to! And by the end of the night I don’t know whether to laugh or cry when they are actually asleep.”

“Well honey,” he sighed, as he kissed me on the cheek. “I love you. I am sure you’ll have it all figured out by morning.”

Then he curled into the blanket and hugged his pillow and began snoring himself into a deep slumber. Just. Like. That.

I decided right then and there that I needed to get out my What Husbands Think About Wives book so I wouldn’t use the Eyres’ book to hit my husband over the head!