Wednesday, January 12, 2011

Tweeners, Teenagers and Me

Time has definitely eroded this old, parent brain of mine.

Because I am beginning to think that maybe – just maybe - I wasn’t such a pleasant teenager after all.

My mother warned me when I was a teenager, “You’re going to have teenagers Just. Like. You.”

And honestly, I was really hoping that would be true!! Because in the corners of my memory, I was a VERY good teenager.

But my mother’s warning has never escaped me. . . and it’s looking like I’m getting what she said was coming to me.

Because Here. We. Are.

My teenager. My tweeners. My husband. And me.

Not that our coming of age children are terrible.

Because they are not.  They're just normal.

Normal for teenagers.

So normal for teenagers that I am recognizing (with eyes WIDE open) their haphazardly hormonal, extremely emotional, and downright feral behavior.

I suppose they can’t help it if their brains don’t function correctly - because I can’t help if mine isn’t functioning at all when they are in this state.

And as I take into careful consideration that this is their first time being teenagers – I realize that they are clueless that this is my first time as a their mother, too . . .but, come to think about it, this old parent brain of mine didn’t realize that when I was 13, either.

So like it or not, we are in this thing together. . .

WOW! This is going to be some exciting ride!


  1. I was just thinking about you tonight! I found my old journal that people signed during the MTC & Mission and read the message you wrote to me. You're such a darling. Even back then...and who knew we'd reconnect 20 years later?! It made my night to read the words of your 21 year old self.

    You are a fabulosa momma...and the kids will all know this fact all the days of their lives. Be gentle with your self-judgements. And remember, part of the deal right now might just have a little something to do with what I call least I had it both times I was expecting! ♥

  2. There are a lot of opportunities for me to remember what I was like when I was a teenager lately as well. My daughter is a 14 year-old in a 9 year-old body, and I have no idea how to slow down this whole growing-up thing, nor how to catch up for those 5 years I haven't had training on.

    The other day I remembered wanting to tell my step-mom when I was in my prime teenagehood(and I think I did mutter it when I was safely in my room alone) that she should feel grateful to be able to stay home all day and that it was her JOB to keep the house clean.....Did I really think that? Um. Yep. I cringed after remembering that and the doom of "You'll have one just like you when you're a mom" set in. How could I have said that? I remember I was really mad, but I also know somewhere in my muddled head I felt lucky to have her as my mother. And now, as I practice all the housekeeping skills she taught me everyday with some degree of success, I am DEEPLY grateful.

    I just have to keep reminding myself that the understanding for most of us of how wonderful-despite-being-human our parents were, comes much later--when we are parents. It's a good thing mankind is so resilient.

    Good luck, Darla. Everything I know about you tells me you'll figure it out (and most likely faster than the rest of us). When you do will you pass on what you know to us?

    ps. don't forget to also pass on the "you'll have one just like you when you grow up" torch (timing is everything on this one...:)

  3. I've joked for years that the advantage of me waiting so long to get married and start a family is that the millennium will be here by the time my kids become teenagers. Um, yeah, not holding my breath on that one....