"To assist in marital communication, try the following exercise together. Allow yourselves sufficient time when there will be no interruptions. You might wish to divide the exercise into several sessions, considering two or three statements at each session.
"First, respond individually in writing to the statements. Then exchange papers and talk about what you’ve written. Don’t try to review your responses simultaneously. While one of you is reading or speaking, the other should listen or ask clarifying questions. Then switch roles.
"Complete the following statements:
1. In our marriage, I feel loved when you …
2. In our marriage, I feel appreciated when you …
3. In our marriage, I am happiest when …
4. In our marriage, I am saddest when …
5. In our marriage, I am angriest when …
6. In our marriage, I would like more …
7. In our marriage, I would like less …
8. In our marriage, I feel awkward when …
9. In our marriage, I feel uneasy when …
10. In our marriage, I feel excited when …
11. In our marriage, I feel close to you when …
12. In our marriage, I feel distant from you when …
13. In our marriage, I feel most afraid when …
14. My greatest concern/fear about our marriage is …
15. What I like most about myself is …
16. What I dislike most about myself is …
17. The feelings that I have the most difficulty sharing with you are …
18. The feelings that I can share most easily with you are …
19. Our marriage could be greatly improved with just a little effort if we …
20. The one thing in our marriage that needs the most immediate attention is …
21. The best thing about our marriage is …
Note: My husband and I discovered this about 11 years ago. Since then, we try to go through these questions on a regular basis. I'll put individual questions in a bowl and we'll pick one out and follow the directions stated above. It has been amazing how each question is relevant even as we approach 20 years of marriage!
CLICK HERE to read the entire article by Brent A. Barlow that goes along with this fantastic marriage quiz.
Thanks, Darla. This is a great idea. Printing it off right now.
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