True Doctrine Understood Changes Behavior

"True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel."

 After Church today some of my boys got into it. Two were in the locked car laughing and pointing at one who was locked out of the car. By the time the one got into the car with the two, a fight ensued. A fight. In the car. And someone got hurt.

Agh!

And then I did "The Transformation" into The Mom: Lecture-Mode.

Lecture to the one: CHILL OUT!

Lecture to the two: Learn when to STOP!

But there were still hard feelings, hurt feelings, angry feelings, Mom feelings. For what I REALLY wanted to do was yell at all of them and hit their heads together because what they do is so juvenile (even if they are juveniles), so I took a moment to breathe. Because I didn’t want to act like a juvenile. And then I took a moment to pray. To ask Heavenly Father what I should do with three of his sons. I didn’t have a lot of time to figure out an appropriate consequence.  I needed help fast!

And gratefully, by the time we got home, the Spirit was able to say to me: “Have your boys read Pres. Uchtdorf’s talk.” Boy, was I glad I was listening!

So that’s what I did. Printed off three copies. Told each to read it and write ten sentences on what they learned - including what the Spirit wanted him to learn about the love of God.

After 30 minutes of seclusion, here is what my the three of them – on their own – came up with.

9 year old son - The one who was left locked outside the car. The same one who instigated the fight inside the car.

I learned:
1. To love as Jesus loved us
2. To become more like Jesus
3. Pray to God and He will tell me the answer to my question
4. Read the scriptures and hear His voice
5. Go to Church and hear His voice
6. Heavenly Father’s love for His children is the core message of The Plan of Happiness
7. Love is the light that guides our path
8. I need to be a true disciple of Jesus Christ
9. I need to walk away from stuff that’s bugging me
10. I need to be kind to everyone – especially my family.

10 year old son locked in the car, jeering at the son locked outside of the car:

"I learned that we should love God with all our heart. And that love can make friendship, tolerance and respect. It is the source that overcomes hate. Love is the fire that warm our lives.
The Apostle John said, 'We love Him because He first loved us.' God’s love is so great that He loves the proud, the selfish and the wicked. If we love Heavenly Father and our fellowman with all our heart, soul and mind, all else will fall into place. Love is also the measure of faith and obedience. Love is the way of the disciple. What I learned is that if I can love everyone, then they will love me. And if I can change, everyone can change" (Mother’s note: This son of mine TOTALLY stole that last line from Rocky IV).

10 year old son locked in the car also jeering the one locked outside of the car and the one who was caught in the fight:

1. The thing I learned from this talk is love.
2. The Savior said, ‘If ye love me, keep my commandments.’
3. I should love God with all my might, mind and heart.
4. I should love my brothers as much as I will love Jesus Christ.
5. Love is like fire that warms lives and our hearts.
6. Jesus loves us even if we are proud, selfish or even wicked. He still loves us.
7. He loves us if we live in a castle or cottage. But He still loves us.
8. Wherever you are, try to hear His voice. Jesus Christ lives and loves us very much.
9. Love is faith, obedience and much more. It can do marvelous things in our daily life.
10. So I learned that I should love my brothers. Even if they hurt me or are mean to me I can still love them.

And what did I learn? It PAYS for me to read and study General Conference talks. It PAYS for me to read and study scripture. Not just because I need it, but because my children need it! God is counting on me to learn about Him - just as much as I am counting on my children to learn about Him. And as I study and learn what God's wants me to, I am, in return, able to teach my children what God's wants them to learn.

"True doctrine, understood, changes attitudes and behavior. The study of the doctrines of the gospel will improve behavior quicker than a study of behavior will improve behavior. Preoccupation with unworthy behavior can lead to unworthy behavior. That is why we stress so forcefully the study of the doctrines of the gospel."