I Am a Pencil

When I walked into church that Sunday it was all I could do to conceal my delight! My well-used, well-loved mechanical pencil was sporting a new eraser, thanks to my husband who had found one while rummaging through his night stand the evening before. I had needed a new eraser for months, but I opted to erase the hard way by painstakingly prying the eraser from one side with my pinkie fingernail, lifting it up ever so carefully until it was higher than the case that held it captive, and then, taking caution as to not apply too much pressure that could cause tearing, erasing the graphite from the thin pages of my scriptures. Truth was, I had put off buying a new eraser. Buying a refill was the last thing on my mind when I went to the store. Plus, inexpensive, mechanical pencils really ought to be replaced, not just given a new eraser. But, I was not yet ready to give up my pencil, even semi-sans eraser. After all, this was my scripture pencil. The notes within the margins of my scriptures were from this pencil. The highlights and underlines were from this pencil. And on the night I needed to know, more than any other time in my life, that God knew me and knew what I was going through, this pencil marked my answer in a verse found in Alma 36.

I had not always marked my scriptures this way. For years, I had marked by code. Red for Atonement. Orange for Missionary Work. Blue for Repentance. Yellow for Light. My Church Coloring Book, my husband called it. I was too far into the rainbow when I came to the conclusion there were so many gospel topics and not enough colors. Eventually, I terminated marking by code, but kept marking with colors. Oh, how I loved those colors! It wasn't until my mother gifted me a new set of scriptures for my 38th birthday – the first set embossed with my married name – that I decided it would be a good time to use my husband’s scripture marking system, which only employed a mechanical pencil.

Sometime between the Bishop’s welcome from the pulpit and the opening song, my seven year old son began pestering me about wanting to draw. My children know our rules. No pencils until after the Sacrament is over. He wasn't happy. A missionary was speaking that day. There were a lot of people in the congregation. That meant his drawing time would be shortened tremendously if he waited until after the Sacrament was over. He persisted. I prevailed.

Immediately following the Sacrament, I quietly handed my son my mechanical pencil. He had been as patient as a seven year old, but as cunning as a teenager. Instead of using the ward bulletin he had discreetly guarded as his medium to doodle, he slyly pulled out from his scriptures two pieces of carefully folded, blank, white sheets of paper, and confidently placed them on his green hymn book. This boy of mine was an artistic delight. He would construct a fort during Sacrament Meeting if he had scissors and tape to go along with his pencil and paper. He smiled as he looked up at me, clicked my pencil several times and began to draw.

Every now and again, I glanced over to see what my seven year old artist was drawing. This was one of his more intricate pictures. There were shadowed mountains and leafy trees. A trickle of a river ran its course down hilly terrain. And there was a sun. A sun with very thick rays. I was happy that he was happy. I was even happier that he was no longer pestering me about wanting to draw.

It was near the end of the closing hymn when I peered to my left to see what had become of son's picture. Apparently, from the white piece of paper in front of him, he had tucked the first illustration away and was starting on his second. Who will be the lucky recipient of his Sacrament Meeting art work, I thought. Next to drawing itself, my son loved giving his drawings away. As I looked upon his blank sheet of paper for just a moment longer, I realized he wasn't using a new piece of paper at all. No, my son’s mountain/tree/sun with thick rays picture had been meticulously erased. The closing prayer was just about to begin as I grabbed my pencil. MY NEW ERASER! His paper was white and my eraser was no longer new. In fact, it was almost as small as it was when I replaced it the night before!

My eyes began to protrude with obvious displeasure. My heart began to race. My body temperature surged with intense provocation. I waited impatiently for the “Amen,” with full intent to reprove my son with sharpness - knowing full well that I was not being moved upon by the Holy Ghost  - when a feeling, so tender and soft came into my mind and caught me so off guard that it cut into my heart.

“Um, isn't that what an eraser is for? Isn't that why I came to earth?  I came to die for you. I died for you so that you could become as clean as that paper. It is I who makes you clean. My Atonement is your Eraser .”

Immediately, all the pencils we had in our home flashed before my eyes. I saw every single one of them, and quickly realized that most had no erasers left on them. It’s the eraser part that goes first. And usually, when I find pencils without erasers at my house, I throw them away. What good are pencils without erasers, anyway? On that Sunday I learned it’s the other way around. Without Jesus Christ, I would have been thrown out a long, long time ago.

I am a pencil and Christ, He is my Eraser .

Make A Trek Satchel With 2 Bandanas!

We are heading off for a Pioneer Trek and these are great for carrying journals, water bottles, scriptures, treats, etc.

Step 1: You need one 22"x22" (approx.) bandana and a 4"x22" strip from an extra bandana.

Step 2: Fold the 22"x22" bandana in half and cut 2" from the fold (will make a 4"x22" piece when unfolded). This piece will serve as part of the handle.

Step 3: Leave one section full. Cut the other section in three. From each end, cut 4", leaving the middle section to be about 15"x9." The two 4"x9" pieces will be used to lengthen the strap.

Step 4: Take the 15"x9" piece, press ends under and finish the seam on both sides. This piece will be the outside pocket.

Step 5: Fold outside pocket in half both width-wise and length-wise and press. This will serve as your guide to sewing your seams

Step 6: Take the 9"x22" piece, folding and pressing in half width-wise. This piece will serve as your bag.

Step 7: Align the center lines of the main bag and outer pocket. Pin. Sew along vertical center line. Sew along one side horizontal line. This will divide one side of the outer pocket into two pockets.

This side has two pockets . . .

This side has one pocket . . .

Step 8: Zig-zag or serge ends together.

Step 9: Take the two 4"x9" and 4"x22" straps and fold and press in half, lengthwise.

Step 10: Tucking the unfinished edges into the finished edges, sew together. Be sure your folds are lined up.

Step 11: Zig-zag or serge both edges.

Step 12: Pin strap to bag. One edge of one strap on either side of bag. Be sure not to twist. 

Step 13: Sew strap securely to bag.

Step 14: Ta-Dah!

If the bag is too long, you can easily tie a knot on shoulder to shorten its length.

Mary Cried

She hurried to the tomb
saw the stone had rolled away.
Looking on in the inside,
her Master did not lay.
Falling to the ground.
Tears drop from her eyes.
Torn with deep despair,
Mary cried.

Lost and all alone,
she looked up from the ground.
Presence of the Gardner,
but still no solace found.
"Woman," said the Voice.
"Look on Me. Here am I."
And when she saw the Master,
Mary cried.

At times I feel like Mary.
Frightened at an empty tomb.
Lonely, tired, doubting
of life's untimely gloom.
His call is soft, yet piercing.
"Look on Me.  Here am I."
He is risen.  He is calling.
And I cry.

'91

Good Friday

This is what happened to me on this Good Friday:

1. I sold a dresser for $40 to two middle-eastern looking and sounding men who made no comment when my eight year old son bid them farewell by saying, "And I hope you both have a Good Friday today!"

2. My nine year old daughter shared this Isaiah scripture with us during family scriptures . .  "All we like sheep have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquity of us all..." and then asked, but what does sheep have to do with the Savior? It made for a sweet discussion.

3. Ordering nine sundaes with nine different toppings while going through the drive through takes a piece of paper and a pencil and a whole lot of repeating.

6. As I read THIS today, I learned that even through the Savior's darkest moments, all glory went to His Father.  Which made me ask myself if I am doing the same.

5. My 12 year old son learned the hard way that removing his seatbelt while going through the drive through can lead to both a sore head and a cracked windshield when mom needs to brake abruptly so as not to hit the car who is oblivious to the traffic exiting the drive thru.

4. I'm learning that Good Friday is good because Sunday will come.

Thoughts on Opposition and Contention

Opposition: actions or opinions that show that you disagree with or disapprove of someone or something

Contention: Strife; struggle; a violent effort to obtain something, or to resist a person, claim or injury; contest; quarrel.

There is an eternal law that there must needs be an opposition in all things.

The devil has cunningly changed enmity for sin, to contention filled with hate and malice.

Which has brought me to ponder, does my opposition change me to a "contentionist," particularly when it comes to issues that involve morality and God's law?  How can I successfully rise above the contention and still passionately oppose those things that are morally wrong?

Perhaps even a better question, can opposition still leave room in my heart to love those who are filled with contention?

As I mused these thoughts aloud to my children, the story of Job came to my mind. And I was reminded that God knows how to perfectly oppose evil without contention.

He knows how to speak against evil without causing war. For the war is created by those who allow contention to overrule their opposition, no matter how soft spoken contention may be.

Prime Factorization

The great things about taking a math class is that I'm not only relearning math - I'm actually understanding how it applies into the REAL WORLD!!!

A few weeks ago I relearned what Prime Factorization is: the breaking down of a number into smaller and smaller factors until it cannot be broken down any further.

So, for example, the number 12 can be broken down first as 2*6 and then to 2*2*3.

28 breaks down first to 2*14 then to 2*2*7.

And 156 goes something like this: 2*78 to 2*2*39 and finally down to 2*2*3*13.

When numbers are prime, however, take 17, for example, the only other number than can go into it is the number 1.

What I am discovering is that that Prime Factorization has everything to do with relationships!

For example, a Prime Factorization Relationship is something two persons share when personalities and characteristic start breaking down into smaller and smaller factors. It could be as obvious as liking the same Pinterest sites or having the same athletic pastimes.  These relationship are developed faster, maybe, because it's obvious to each other what those factors are.

Or, a Prime Factorization Relationship can be less obvious and more significant when factors that are alike because of like experiences, such as deep feelings for the same Alma Mater for the same reasons or knowing the same individual who has made a difference in both lives.  Because these factors are not always obvious, these relationships take time to discover and develop.

Then there's a type of Prime Factorization Relationship that transcends time or location.  It is when to persons have been broken down to the same small factor that can only be understood through the furnace of affliction, when the fires have given the experience of losing a child to death or losing a spouse to infidelity; or being recipients of mental illness or carriers of the same disease.

And amazing to me is that with all the factorizations that do and can and will go on; that even in the breaking down to even the smallest and most infinitesimal factors, there stand our One Prime Factor - He who can be factored into every equation - even the Lord and Savior, Jesus Christ.

He suffered every prime factor so none of us would ever have to suffer anything alone.

Math!

I'm taking Math this semester.

It's just enough Math to make me remember why Math was not anywhere near the top or middle or lower half of my "Favorite Subjects in School" List!

It's just enough Math to help me understand why my third grader sometimes cries and cried because she can't understand how to do a problem.

It's just enough Math to remind my high school sophomore that it's not okay to make fun when others just can't understand Math in the same pre-Calc way he can.

And it's just enough Math to teach me that it totally STINKS when I get a fourth grade Math problem wrong!!

But totally ROCKS when I get it right!

Boo. Yah.