Book of Mormon Reading: Alma 57-63

I am learning to learn from the war chapters in the Book of Mormon. Two things today:

First, I was very aware that Helaman saw the good. And in that good he saw God. He trusted that God would deliver his armies, even though they paled in comparison to their enemies.

Second, I LOVE that Mormon captured all sides of Captain Moroni, and I am speaking about the anger side of him that really comes out when he thinks Pahoran has turned on him. It's not so much that I love the anger in Moroni, but that even with his anger, Mormon chooses to highlight all the other strengths he possesses.

And, it was pointed out to me as well, that when we are angry, we make terrible negotiators.

Rejoicing Rather than Retaliating?

Because this week our topic in communications is about conflict, our class assignment was to read and discuss Alma 60-61.

Yes, it's the scathing letter from Captain Moroni to Govenor Pahoran and how he, Moroni, accused him, Pahoran of “exceedingly great neglect” - not just once or twice, but THREE times!

Pahoran was accused of being thoughtless, slothful, lazy, disobedient to God’s commandments, and outright blamed for the hunger and starvation that nearly attributed to the perishing of the Nephite armies.

And interestingly, after all of that, Pahoran’s response, in a nutshell, was “it mattereth not.”

Why didn’t it matter to Pahoran?

Why wasn’t he angry, upset, infuriated, and defensive?

Why did Pahoran respond to Moroni with compassion and understanding? What was up with that man?

So read carefully last night, eager to make a noteworthy contribution to our discussion. But more importantly, I wanted to understand how I could be more Pahoran-like especially when accusatory, contentious, “them there are fighting words” conflict breaks out and instead of listening and discussing opposing ideas, I’m foaming at the mouth and about to go into cardiac arrest!

Then, I found something that caught my eye and caused my heart to understand what allowed Pahoran to receive Moroni’s words as a complementary rather than adversarially.

I found it in verse 19 as Pahoran writes: And now, Moroni, I do joy in receiving your epistle, for I was somewhat worried concerning what we should do, whether it should be just in us to go against our brethren.

You mean, Pahoran was concerned about what to do and in his desire to find the correct answer, he was praying and along came Moroni’s epistle which was the just right answer?

You mean all those scathing, biting, cutting words were received joyfully because they were THE answer to Pahorn’s prayers?

Which has made me ponder this all day: Would I be able to recognize an answer to a prayer if it came at me in the same way Moroni came at Pahoran?

Or would I be too caught up in finding ways to retaliate rather than rejoice?

Butt of the Devil and Other Happenings the First Week of Summer Vacation

On our first day of the first week of Summer Vacation, we went BIG and switched all the boys' bedrooms around, which, I should mention, is not for the faint of heart! Because it means laundry up the wazoo (including bed linens that haven't been washed for HOW LONG?!?!), bags and bags and bags of clothes to take to the thrift store, and more than just a sneak peek of what was really hidden under their beds.

This week we hit Costco several times.  For food samples.  Right around the time I should have been feeding them lunch. Costco always does such a great job on bringing the variety - and the clean up was so worth it.

We all signed up for the Summer Reading Program at our county library.  The younger children were totally motivated by the food prizes. The teenagers finally consented when they found out that they had more options than just reading for 20 minutes a day (like downloading music and watching a DVD).

We found time to make some family favorites for dinner: Navajo Tacos, Crepes (with vanilla pudding/chocolate powdered sugar and chicken salad/white sauce as fillings); Pancakes (with eggs and sausage), S'mores, and hot-off-the-grill Hamburgers!

And conveniently interspersed throughout this perfect sounding first week, we've dealt with CONTENTION  or, as we unaffectionately refer to it in our family, the "butt of the devil." This absolutely repulsive phrase came about, on accident, during a Family Home Evening, when one of our sons planned a scripture chase for our activity.  After giving us clues to about five or six scripture references and getting frustrated that we were finding them too quickly, he decided to give us clues that were not so apparent. For example, instead of saying "I will go and do" as a clue, he gave "He shall prepare a way."  Instead of  saying "born of water and spirit," he clued us with "he cannot enter." And, for "contention is not of Me" we got "but . . . of the devil."  And with a houseful of kids it was immediately translated to "butt of the devil." And it stuck. like. glue.

So in an effort to rid our home from this awful plague, I've had to individually sit down with each child and help them recognize the triggers that cause them to contention.  Each child has made a list of things they can do when the inkling of the spirit of contention begins to move upon them and another list of consequences they will undergo if they are found contending.  SIGH!  We will see how it works.  Along with a lot of prayer on my part.

Because as much as I love summer vacation, I despise the butt of the devil.

Family Home Evening - Anger

It wasn't too long ago when we had THIS LESSON for Family Home Evening. . .

And this is what is SO stinkin' awesome about Family Home Evening.  We can tailor any Monday to fit the needs of our family.

And last night we needed a refresher course on ANGER!  Because right before school we had a little sibling squabble - which really started out to be fun -  but quickly it turned and escalated to kicking and breaking a door.  YIKES!

Which did not bode well with me at all!

No, not at all.

So my children had themselves in for a HUGE lecture on the way to school, which did not invite the Spirit, despite my attempts to quote scripture and recall words of living prophets. 

And on the way home I felt crummy.  Lousy.  Angry.

Imagine that!

So I asked Heavenly Father what He would have me do . . . and I was gently reminded that it was Family Home Evening.

And here's what we did:

1. We read 3 Nephi 11:29 (Scripture Mastery) and discuess why of all the things the Savior could teach the Nephites during His appearance to them, why would He teach about contention.

1. Everyone was given a piece of paper. On one side they were to make a list (or draw pictures) of the things that make them ANGRY!  This list was not to be shared :)

2.  Then we listened to THIS TALK by President Thomas S. Monson.  While listening to his talk we were to list on the other side of the paper what we were being taught.  I told my children they were not to write down the stories or the scripture references, but they were to write down what the Spirit wanted them to learn about anger.

3. After listening to the talk, we discussed what we learned.  We also realized that most of what makes us angry happens within the walls of our own home!!!  Ironic, isn't it?

We have a lot to work on!  But work we will.

Oh how I heart Family Home Evening!!

The Friction Factor

The other day my six year old was very angry.

Temper Tantrum Angry.

And when she gets that way there is A LOT of friction that goes on.

So she and I sat down to talk about the "heat" that rises to the surface when we are angry.

And after a meaningful discussion, enough to calm her down, we ended up rubbing our hands together - as fast as we could - to be able to feel and understand the heat that comes when two opposing forces are up against each other.

And that's when I learned something about anger.

It comes when I pit my divine nature against my natural, carnal (wo)man.

And always  - not sometimes or even most of the time - when I submit to that friction, I come up empty.

And very, very warm!