Small and Simple Things

This evening I had the opportunity to participate in our Relief Society Christmas Program entitled, Women Who Knew Christ. I was asked to play the part of the mother of Mary. As I practiced my part, there was a phrase from Luke 1:35 that jumped out at me:

And the angel answered and said unto her, The Holy Ghost shall come upon thee, and the power of the Highest shall overshadow thee: therefore also that holy thing which shall be born of thee shall be called the Son of God.

Had I read correctly? Did the angel just refer to the Son of God as a holy thing? And right then Alma 37:6-7 was brought to my remembrance:

Now ye may suppose that this is foolishness in me; but behold I say unto you, that by small and simple things are great things brought to pass; and small means in many instances doth confound the wise.

And the Lord God doth work by means to bring about his great and eternal purposes; and by very small means the Lord doth confound the wise and bringeth about the salvation of many souls.

Yep. The very Son of God was born by and in and to small and simple circumstances.

Compared to how a king would have been received.

Compared to how birthing accommodations are today.

Compared to what can be announced to the world in real time on social media.

Yet, in His small and simple way, He continues to confound the wise and brings about the salvation to many souls.

I share my witness with King Benjamin that "there is no other name give nor any other way nor means whereby salvation can come unto the children of men, only in and through the name of Christ, the Lord Omnipotent."

Book of Mormon Reading: 2 Nephi 24-25

Redemption is about Grace.

God's grace.

Because without His grace, no matter what I do, no matter what I don't do, no matter how well (or badly) I live my life, I cannot be saved.

I cannot save myself.

It is by His grace that I am saved.

Book of Mormon Reading: 1 Nephi 13-14

In my Book of Mormon readying today, particularly in 1 Nephi 13, I have been pondering the great and marvelous revelations we have been given in the past 10 months through our prophet, President Russell M. Nelson.

I recognized today that it is in this manner that the Savior IS manifesting Himself in word, in power, and in deed.

His purpose? To take away our stumbling blocks.

Or, better said, to take away MY stumbling blocks.

In his "Beware of Pride" talk, President Ezra Taft Benson emphasized, "Pride is the great stumbling block to Zion. I repeat, pride is the great stumbling block to Zion."

How much I want to be a part of Zion! How much I want to be counted among those in His fold! So, I diligently try to strip myself of all pride that interferes from receiving His Holy Spirit and understanding His holy word.

But it's not as easy as I want it to be because of that dang, carnal woman part of me! That part always sets me back when I give into the enticings of the flesh, or heed the the enticings of the devil.

Yet, overcoming pride (that great stumbling block to Zion) IS attainable as I become a saint through the atonement of Christ. Because, as Elder Renlund taught, quoting Nelson Mandela, "A saint is a sinner who keeps on trying."

And as a child of God, I will try, try, try.

I Am a Pencil

When I walked into church that Sunday it was all I could do to conceal my delight! My well-used, well-loved mechanical pencil was sporting a new eraser, thanks to my husband who had found one while rummaging through his night stand the evening before. I had needed a new eraser for months, but I opted to erase the hard way by painstakingly prying the eraser from one side with my pinkie fingernail, lifting it up ever so carefully until it was higher than the case that held it captive, and then, taking caution as to not apply too much pressure that could cause tearing, erasing the graphite from the thin pages of my scriptures. Truth was, I had put off buying a new eraser. Buying a refill was the last thing on my mind when I went to the store. Plus, inexpensive, mechanical pencils really ought to be replaced, not just given a new eraser. But, I was not yet ready to give up my pencil, even semi-sans eraser. After all, this was my scripture pencil. The notes within the margins of my scriptures were from this pencil. The highlights and underlines were from this pencil. And on the night I needed to know, more than any other time in my life, that God knew me and knew what I was going through, this pencil marked my answer in a verse found in Alma 36.

I had not always marked my scriptures this way. For years, I had marked by code. Red for Atonement. Orange for Missionary Work. Blue for Repentance. Yellow for Light. My Church Coloring Book, my husband called it. I was too far into the rainbow when I came to the conclusion there were so many gospel topics and not enough colors. Eventually, I terminated marking by code, but kept marking with colors. Oh, how I loved those colors! It wasn't until my mother gifted me a new set of scriptures for my 38th birthday – the first set embossed with my married name – that I decided it would be a good time to use my husband’s scripture marking system, which only employed a mechanical pencil.

Sometime between the Bishop’s welcome from the pulpit and the opening song, my seven year old son began pestering me about wanting to draw. My children know our rules. No pencils until after the Sacrament is over. He wasn't happy. A missionary was speaking that day. There were a lot of people in the congregation. That meant his drawing time would be shortened tremendously if he waited until after the Sacrament was over. He persisted. I prevailed.

Immediately following the Sacrament, I quietly handed my son my mechanical pencil. He had been as patient as a seven year old, but as cunning as a teenager. Instead of using the ward bulletin he had discreetly guarded as his medium to doodle, he slyly pulled out from his scriptures two pieces of carefully folded, blank, white sheets of paper, and confidently placed them on his green hymn book. This boy of mine was an artistic delight. He would construct a fort during Sacrament Meeting if he had scissors and tape to go along with his pencil and paper. He smiled as he looked up at me, clicked my pencil several times and began to draw.

Every now and again, I glanced over to see what my seven year old artist was drawing. This was one of his more intricate pictures. There were shadowed mountains and leafy trees. A trickle of a river ran its course down hilly terrain. And there was a sun. A sun with very thick rays. I was happy that he was happy. I was even happier that he was no longer pestering me about wanting to draw.

It was near the end of the closing hymn when I peered to my left to see what had become of son's picture. Apparently, from the white piece of paper in front of him, he had tucked the first illustration away and was starting on his second. Who will be the lucky recipient of his Sacrament Meeting art work, I thought. Next to drawing itself, my son loved giving his drawings away. As I looked upon his blank sheet of paper for just a moment longer, I realized he wasn't using a new piece of paper at all. No, my son’s mountain/tree/sun with thick rays picture had been meticulously erased. The closing prayer was just about to begin as I grabbed my pencil. MY NEW ERASER! His paper was white and my eraser was no longer new. In fact, it was almost as small as it was when I replaced it the night before!

My eyes began to protrude with obvious displeasure. My heart began to race. My body temperature surged with intense provocation. I waited impatiently for the “Amen,” with full intent to reprove my son with sharpness - knowing full well that I was not being moved upon by the Holy Ghost  - when a feeling, so tender and soft came into my mind and caught me so off guard that it cut into my heart.

“Um, isn't that what an eraser is for? Isn't that why I came to earth?  I came to die for you. I died for you so that you could become as clean as that paper. It is I who makes you clean. My Atonement is your Eraser .”

Immediately, all the pencils we had in our home flashed before my eyes. I saw every single one of them, and quickly realized that most had no erasers left on them. It’s the eraser part that goes first. And usually, when I find pencils without erasers at my house, I throw them away. What good are pencils without erasers, anyway? On that Sunday I learned it’s the other way around. Without Jesus Christ, I would have been thrown out a long, long time ago.

I am a pencil and Christ, He is my Eraser .

The Power of Prayer

Last week a brother in our ward had a terrible motocross accident.

The accident left him in induced coma for three days, two broken arms, a broken wrist, and head trauma.  While not in ICU anymore, he is still in the hospital dealing with the effects of head trauma.

His wife wrote on her blog this morning:

"We are so grateful for all those who want to visit, with broken bones and bruises, I would have you all. But with brain trauma it is a different story. We were told by the trauma team, just hearing a beeping noise from a machine and someone talking can be nauseating and can cause him to throw up. He said it was like a migraine times a million. I have only had one or two in my life, and I couldn't stand noise or light. So I am respecting the Doctors wishes by not inviting visitors. It is for the best interest of ******'s healing. He repeats the days of the week constantly, counts and trys (sic) hard to focus, I know his brain is working on overload and don't want to cause him more stress and trauma, that keeps him from healing. I will continue asking the Doctors when it is best to have visitors, but for now your prayers are what he needs."

I've thought a lot about what we want and can do in situations like this!

We can take meals.  We can visit.  We can mow lawns, shovel snow, rake leaves.  We can fix leaky toilets, fill vehicles with gasoline, send bouquets of flowers.  We can watch children, help with schedule changes, even pay the mortgage!!

But sometimes, when someone says, "I just need your prayers!"  I think, "What?  Please tell me that's not all I can do?  Because I am capable of so. much. more."

Which got me to thinking about prayer and it's power.

And my thoughts quietly took me to a Garden. Yes, that Garden, wherein the Savior of us all knelt to pray - to pray - for all God's children.

For after all His parables, all His sermons, after turning water into wine, feeding the 5000, walking on water healing the lame, the blind, the sick and raising people from the dead, what He did was what we needed the very most:  He prayed for us!!

And His prayer, that Prayer, coupled with Him humbly kneeling in the Garden for me and for you, petitioning the Father on our behalf, makes me realize that the intrinsic power of prayer means that I am truly capable of doing so much more than just taking in a meal.

I Felt . . . OFFENDED!

"You and I cannot control the intentions or behavior of other people.  However we do determine how we will act.  Please remember that you and I are agents endowed with moral agency, and we can choose not to be offended."  - David A. Bednar

Many, many moons ago I received an anonymous letter in the mail.

And it wasn't nice.

No, it wasn't nice at all!

And to top it off  - it was from someone in my ward!!!

Up to that point in my life I had always believed that anyone who would be or could be offended had some troubles with their testimony.  After all, I naively surmised, if you had a testimony it wouldn't matter what anyone else says!

But it was on THAT day that I found myself with a deep, abiding testimony in my heart and a full-blown mean-spirited letter in my hand!!!

I felt hurt. I felt anger.  And I felt . . . OFFENDED!

All I wanted to do was crumble into a hundred, million, gazillion pieces right there and . . . never, ever go back to Church again!!

But at that very moment, while standing in the living room of our house, it was my children that kept me from crumbling . . .because, quite frankly, who has time to hide with pity in the closet when there's a menagerie of children all clamoring simultaneously for your undivided attention?

And my husband, who was the Bishop at the time, made sure I went back to Church the very next Sunday because there were six children under the age of six  that needed quieting during Sacrament Meeting and a piano that needed playing during Primary.

Talk about where "much is given . . ."

But going back to Church the next Sunday was not as easy as I thought it should be for people who had testimonies.  Because the moment I walked in those doors, I was enveloped with a claustrophobic air of suspicion.

And believe me when I say that I looked around and wondered . . .Who!

Who?

WHO?!

And why?

(Thank goodness playing the piano in Primary carries with it a sense anonymity!!)

For several days after my first Sunday back that letter a.b.s.o.l.u.t.e.l.y. plagued me.  It made me feel weak and vulnerable and on display.  It made me feel hurt and angry and insulted.  And almost instantaneously, I, who have always LOVED going and being in Church, decided that I maybe I shouldn't like it so much.

And I also decided that in order for me to stay on guard, I would keep the letter (frame it and place it on my nightstand) as a reminder of the mean, hurtful things someone had in their heart for me.

Oh my! Such a bad idea!

Such a very, VERY bad idea!

I honestly don't know how I came to my senses.

I don't know how the Lord ever got through to me in my miserable state!

But somehow, before the second Sunday dawned, I had successfully thrown that anonymous letter in the trash!!

Because it was destroying me!

To be honest, tossing the letter didn't mean that I was about to rush back to Church and shout "Gosh, I love Church and everyone in it, even those who anonymously send hate mail!

And to be even more honest, I was still very hesitant to return to Church the Sundays that followed.

But I went.  And I kept going.  And week by week going to Church got easier.

And I've learned that someone with a deep, abiding testimony can choose to feel offended! But, as Elder Bednar teaches, I'm also learning that "through the strengthening power of the Atonement of Jesus Christ, you and I can be blessed to avoid and triumph over offense."

Family Home Evening - Repentance

Tonight we took our lesson from HERE.

To begin, we assessed understanding and had a great family discussion by asking these two questions:
1. What is sin?
2. What is repentance?

Then we divided our family into three groups.  Each group was given a piece of paper and a pen.  On one side of the paper they were to write: Sin is like and on the other side they were to write Repemtance is like.

These six objects were placed on a table so each member of the family could see them.  We were instructed to discuss in our groups what item would be placed under which list and why.  The objects were:
1. Soap
2. A pair of scissors
3. A bottle of oil
4. A lighter
5. Ice
6. Neosporine

After group discussion we shared what we learned as a family.  WOW!  I was impressed with some of the things my children came up with.  And what we found was that most of those items could represent either sin or repentance.

In the end we were able to testify of the purifying power of the Atonement that allows each of us to repent from sin and be cleaned.

A Letter to My Children

My dearest children,

I know that we are all very well aware of our automobile accident a few weeks ago. It is very apparent to each of us as we commute back and forth to school in two vehicles. And as it is remembered in every prayer we offer up to the Lord as a family.

As we have been going through the process of the insurance and of finding a van within our budget, I am learning so many important and eternal lessons! And I'd like to share with you one of the more profound lessons.

For the past 20 years Dad and I have religiously paid car insurance. That insurance protects from things that could happen if we found ourselves in car trouble. We have joked on so many occasions how much we have paid for "nothing." Before our accident, your Dad and I have never had to file a claim. So the interaction with the insurance company has been a learning experience for us.

While there are several different insurance plans you can purchase, I want to explain the two that have taught me ever so poignantly this week. I will try to do so simply without getting myself confused. One plan is known as "Liability." The other as "Comprehensive."

When someone has "Liability" insurance they pay a relatively small amount of money per month on their vehicle to insure them. Because they pay a little they only are promised a little if they get into an accident.

When someone has "Comprehensive" insurance they pay a greater amount per month, but they are promised a whole lot more if they get into an accident. Even when the accident is their fault!

After the car accident last week, Dad and I erroneously thought that the insurance on the van was only covered for "Liability" only. We considered selling the van to the mechanic for a beautiful $400. At least that money would pay the amount we owed the towing company and would spare us the tow to the junk yard.

A few days later, however, we came to realize that our van had "Comprehensive" coverage!!! Silly us! How could we overlook this!? After all, we have been paying car insurance for years!! And after speaking with an insurance agent and much to our surprise, the price of our van - our totaled van - increased from $400 to $4000!

Hence, the stark difference of "Liability" and "Comprehensive" coverage.

Which brings me to the lesson that I am learning: I am living far beneath my privileges! I have not been accessing, in full, the enabling and purifying power of the Atonement. I've been settling for "Liability" only, when the Atonement offers me "Comprehensive" coverage. Jesus Christ offers e.v.e.r.y.t.h.i.n.g. to me! And yet, because of my short-sightedness, even my blindness, I've been settling for so. much. less. than what He is so willing to give.

An amazing thing is that the teeny, tiny bit I allow Him to give me, brings me such GREAT happiness. But the real truth is, my joy really can be made FULL!! And that fullness of joy can only come through His infinite and eternal Atonement.

Children, thankfully life will go on. Eternal life will come. And when I stand before my Maker on THAT day, I want Him to know that I did not waste away my days to be covered for "Liability" only.

No, I want to stand as a witness that I lived my life for all that He has. I want to stand a witness that I lived my life for Him. So from here on out, I am in it for The Comprehensive Coverage. I hope you will join me!!!

All my love to you,

Mom

Creeping Me Out!

So the other day a news story caught my attention.

And of course I had to wait until the very end of the news to hear what I wanted to hear.

The story was how to keep spiders out of your home because arachnids want to find a warm place to live during the cold, winter months. (Imagine that)!

And one of the ways to keep spiders from hanging around your home (punny, 'eh?) is simply, to destroy their webs.

Because webs are a food source.

And while I don’t know how others think about the whole webbed matter, SPIDER WEBS CREEP ME OUT!

And to think that allowing webs in my house enables these eight-legged, multi-eyed, carnivorous trappers to live c.o.m.f.o.r.t.a.b.l.y. in MY environment creeps me out even more.

Which made me think of the webs I have hanging around inside of me.

Webs I have craftily spun within my heart.

And in my mind.

Webs that are a food source for things that, quite frankly, should be creeping me out.

But more seriously, they keep me from feeling His light.

And receiving His love.

One way to destroy these webs is to sweep them away.

And as Enos teaches, having faith in the Savior and relying upon His atonement, allows those webs to be swept permanently away!

No more food source for the adversary as I rely upon the enabliing power of the Savior, the Ultimate Exterminator!

Drinking and Swallowing

Here is what I discovered while studying our Gospel Doctrine lesson a few weeks ago.

Matthew 26:39
And he went a little further, and fell on his face, and ^aprayed, saying, O my ^bFather, if it be possible, let this ^ccup pass from me: nevertheless not as I ^dwill, but as ^ethou ^fwilt.

Mosiah 15:7
Yea, even so he shall be led, ^acrucified, and slain, the ^bflesh becoming subject even unto death, the ^cwill of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father.

I wanted to connect the phrases "let this cup pass from me" and "the will of the Son being swallowed up in the will of the Father."

Emphasis on CUP and SWALLOWED.

Here is what I found when I went to this link here: Blue Letter Bible
First of all, here is the word swallow in Greek:  καταπίνω

It comes from the root words: kata and pino.

Kata means down from or through out.

Pino meaning to drink.

katapino, in effect, means to drink or swallow down, to devour or destroy

Swallowing is what I should do with my pride. 

It is what Christ did in order to submit to God's will.

When I do the same I destroy that which hinders me from partaking of the divine nature.

His divine nature.

And ultimately His divine love.

Taking Upon Us the Name of Christ

The prophet Alma, in Alma 7:11-13, teaches that the Savior,

"shall go forth, suffering pains and ^aafflictions and ^btemptations of every kind; and this that the word might be fulfilled which saith he will ^ctake upon him the pains and the sicknesses of his people. And he will take upon him ^adeath, that he may ^bloose the bands of death which bind his people; and he will take upon him their infirmities, that his bowels may be filled with mercy, according to the flesh, that he may know according to the flesh how to ^csuccor his people according to their infirmities. Now the Spirit ^aknoweth all things; nevertheless the Son of God suffereth according to the ^bflesh that he might ^ctake upon him the sins of his people, that he might blot out their transgressions according to the power of his deliverance; and now behold, this is the testimony which is in me."

And what does Father ask us in return?  He asks us to covenant "to take upon [us] the name of [His] Son and always remember Him and keep His commandments that [we] may ALWAYS have His Spirit to be with Him" (Moroni 4:3).

Wow!

Christ took upon Him:

* the pains and the sicknesses of His people

* death

* our infirmities

* our sins

We covenant to:

* take upon us His name

I don't know about you, but it looks like we got the better end of the deal - no matter how terrible our end of the deal may seem.

Cleaning Closets

New Year’s Resolution #364 – Clean out every closet and every drawer in the house.

Ha.

Okay, double ha.

But today I did clean out the two (out of HOW MANY?) drawers!

They belonged to my five and six year olds.

And it really wasn’t that bad.

I ended up with a great, big Papa Bear pile of clothes for the thrift store.

A medium-sized Mama Bear pile of clothes for rags.

And a teeny, tiny Baby Bear pile of clothes to give away to cousins.

And when I finished, I stepped back and felt SO, DARN EXTREMELY GOOD about my two-drawer organizational ability.

Because when it comes to cleaning out closets and drawers, the one who cleans it is the one who’s most satisfied.

Which made me recognize that repentance is like cleaning closets.

Because only I know the mess that is inside of me.

Only I know what needs to be thrown out, changed, cleansed, replaced, purged.

And I am the only one that can choose when and how to clean myself out.

Not that the cleaning and organizing the inside of me is easy . . . or enjoyable.

But after I do the dirty deed and step back to look at my work, I can feel so darn extremely good knowing that – at least on this type of cleaning – through the infinite love and godly sacrifice of Jesus Christ, our Savior, He was able to take my meager two-drawer organizational ability and make my closet clean again.

His type of clean.

The type of clean that is next to Him.

Until I realize that I’ve collected too much junk and need Him to help me clean out my closet - again.

Day 1: Jesus Is . . .

There have been many times my children have asked me why Jesus has so many different names. I explain to them that even I have different names to different people. To my children, I am Mom. To my family and friends, I am Darla. To others I am known as Auntie, and to my husband I am Honey. And still, the list goes on and on and on.

So, I've decided that each day in December this year I will write about one of the names Christ. For Christ has many titles. I am sure I will discover new truths as I explore and study the One whose birth we commemorate this month, our Lord and our Savior, Jesus Christ.

I would love your comments and insights along the way.

Jesus is: The Author and Finisher of My Faith (Hebrews 12:1-2)

I have always been intrigued by this phrase, for faith in the Lord Jesus Christ is the first principle of the gospel.

This principle of faith leads me to believe in His name in order for Him to make all things possible.

Then, through the covenant of baptism, faith leads to taking upon me His name so that I can stand as His witness at all times, in all things and in all places.

It is my witness of Him that comes with a price.

And that price is endurance.

Because absolute faith in the Savior is required of me when going through adversity that seems endless or hopeless or fruitless.

To the father who suffered for years as he took care of his son struggling with a dumb and deaf spirit, Jesus said “If thou canst believe, all things are possible to him the believeth.”

To which the almost faithless father replied, “Lord, I believe; help thou my unbelief.”

Help Thou my unbelief!

How many times have I uttered this phrase! And how many times will I yet utter it?

Because sometimes enduring is much, much harder than the textbook describes.

And much, much darker than the darkest night.

And much more lonely than being alone.

But just as the Savior stands at the beginning of faith (He Being the first principle of the gospel), He also stands at the end.

To tow the line when I have no strength.

To be the hope when I’m ready to give up.

To be the One in lonely so I don’t have to be.

And in the end, He finishes me better than when I started.

Only to realize that I get to start all over again.

Because He wants me to experience the authorship of His plan and take me through the steps to help me finish what He sent me here to do.

Rear View Mirror

The other day while parking, I looked out the rearview mirror and to my absolute horror I saw that I was backing up into and UP a tree!!

However, (before you CLICK HERE to read about bad driving), I realized that I was just driving up a sloped parking lot!

The view that I had of what was behind me was all messed up because my center of attention was all wrong.

So in the end I did park safely! (No pun intended).

I simply adjusted the rearview mirror.

Which got me to thinking about how I look at what has happened in my life.

All the things that are SO yesterday.

SO last year.

SO high school.

Is my “rearview” of what has occurred in my life lined up correctly, or is it skewed (ever so slightly or so considerably) that I don’t quite see the whole picture – the real picture?

Driving is a great metaphor of life.

For example, I get in a car to drive forward – not backward.

95% of my time in the car is in DRIVE, not reverse.

And the windshield, compared to that rearview mirror placed front and center, is my entire view.  (At least it should be)

The rearview mirror is positioned in its exact place for safety.

For precaution.

And for reminders, when necessary.

It was never put there for me to stare into or focus on while I drive forward.

No, that would be a bad, bad idea.

Not only for me but for everyone else on the road!!

Yet, there have been times in my life when I have insisted that going forward means not to let go of the past.

When 95% of my efforts have been in looking in REVERSE, and wondering WHY I couldn’t go forward.

With the rearview mirror being the center of my attention and the vast windshield being completely ignored.

And those times have been bad.

Bad for me and very bad for everyone else around.

And so the other day, after being so extremely grateful that I didn’t really backup into and UP a tree, I decided that I better start adjusting my rearview mirror correctly.

And that requires me to rely upon the enabling and redeeming power of the Atonement.

Oh, there is a lot I need to learn!!

And there is a LOT He wants to teach me!

Sunday Thoughts

I remember long ago, before I had children, having a conversation with a co-worker. He came from a large family, with all of his siblings very close together. He related a story that once, during the times of such close pregnancies, his mother wondered aloud to a friend, “Why right NOW? Why do I have to be pregnant RIGHT NOW?” The response this mother received was taken with great surprise:

“This pregnancy is not about you. It’s the Lord who needs this child to be on earth NOW. Maybe the now-time for his mission will be shortly after his arrival, but maybe it will be 19 years down the line when the Lord needs your son to be in the right place at the right time to do something that only he can do in the place the Lord has appointed!”

Little did I know then that I would have 8+ children of my own and that conversation would repeat many times in my heart as a sweet reminder of Whose these spirits are.

* * *

Throughout my life I have wondered “Why am I where I am right now?”

Today that question floated through my mind as we listened to a young man in our ward who will leave Wednesday for the MTC on a full-time mission. I supposed that thought passed my mind as I realized that today marks year one of being in our “new” ward. And in these past twelve months my boys have been able to witness five missionaries leaving for full-time missions and one who returned home.

So this morning I thought that maybe I am where I am right now because my boys need to see and feel the power of worthy young men prepared and leaving on full-time missions for the Lord!

* * *

When I went to church today I had just place a brand-spanking new eraser into my mechanical pencil.

Which only needed to be replaced 6 months ago. . .But since 95% of my pencil is used for scripture marking, the eraser does go a long ways.

But I was still so elated to take to Church a new eraser attached to my old, mechanical pencil!

Well, I let me seven year old use the pencil during Sacrament Meeting. And every now and then I glanced down to see him drawing quite the intricate picture with mountains that were shadowed and trees with many leaves and a sun with very thick rays.

Near the end of the meeting I peered over his shoulder to see what had become of his picture and saw that he now had a clean, white sheet of paper.

Except, upon second glance, it wasn’t a new piece of paper. . .

No, it was his mountain/tree/sun with many rays picture that now had been meticulously erased WITH MY NEW ERASER. . . which, no longer looked new at all!

My eyes began to bulge and I was just beginning to feel some intense surges of provocation when there was a thought placed ever so tenderly and softly in my mind that said something like this, “Ahem, isn’t that what an eraser is for? That is why I came to earth.  I came to die for you you so that you could become as clean as that paper.  My Atonement is your eraser.  It is I who makes you clean."

And humility filled me as all the pencils that we have in our home flashed before my eyes and I realized that none of them have any eraser left on them!

Because in our house the eraser is the part of the pencil that goes first. And usually, when I find pencils without erasers, I throw away those darn pencils away because what good are they without erasers, anyway??

But today I figured it out.  Without Jesus Christ I would have been thrown out a long, long time ago.

Christ is my Eraser.

Five Thoughts About This Week

1. Wasn’t the Chilean Miners’ Rescue incredible? I was in the right place at the right time to watch the rescue of the first miner and the last miner. I was moved with emotion in part by the miraculous circumstances around the rescue and also the determination and bravery of the rescuers.

When I was the age of my children I remember being told that when the Savior comes again the WHOLE world would know of His coming. My little, finite brain could not wrap understanding around that. How? In those days there was TV, but no satellite, no Google earth, no cell phones, no Internet. How could the whole world know? As I watched the proceedings of the miners’ rescue, I wondered, “Will the Lord allow man-made technology to be a part of the glory of His Second Coming? Is that a way in which the whole world will know that He is here? Or will He use His means, His power - in a way that I cannot comprehend but know is possible - to testify to the world that He is again on earth?”

2. I have contemplated much about the controversy the world has placed on President Packer’s General Conference talk. I found myself grateful to know that God does call prophets, seers and revelators on the earth today.

Anciently, servants of God have been hated, despised, ridiculed for preaching to the people of God’s law and the way to follow His law. Many prophets were stoned to death because they would not, could not take back the word of God. As I thought about the hateful rhetoric being violently cast at President Packer and ultimately the Church, what really is happening is a latter-day stoning! And instead of thinking “Shame! Shame on those people!” I look inwardly and ask myself, “What manner of a woman will I be? Will I obedient and faithful enough to be the one who'd rather be stoned than the one who casts the stones?”

3. Yesterday morning I checked out the book Driven. It is the autobiography of Larry H. Miller, known for his 42 Toyota dealerships and being the owner of the Utah Jazz. I finished the book last night. Because I couldn’t put it down. I was intrigued by his story and moved by his the things he learned from his experiences. Several things caught my attention. One was a statement made by his wife, Gail. She said of her husband, “Let me say right at the outset that, to me, Larry was not such an extraordinary person – at least, not in the beginning.”

Isn’t that what marriage and parenthood try to teach us? That somewhere, in our progression, in our learning, in our experiences with the afflictions and stresses of life, that in that somewhere we discover in those we love, the extraordinary-ness of who they really are. I believe that is one of the eternal characteristics of God – He is able to see the extraordinary in us. It is up to us to discover it. And we can do it with His help!

4. Our water heater bit the dust this week. Yup.  Leaking water all over the place. So for a few hours I was left with just cold water. But when I felt the tiniest urge to complain, I reflected on how grateful early settlers were to have a water pump outside of their homes . . . and then the day the pump came inside! They were happy to have water just to boil on that pot belly stove for cooking and laundry and bathing . . . ! Of all the modernizations over the decades of American civilization, I think I am grateful for indoor plumbing the very most!!

5. Our seven year old had his tonsils removed yesterday. His was a scene scripted exactly by Bill Cosby's Tonsils!! Yes, my son was dancing around ALL week long, touting his weekend indulgence in ice cream, Jell-o and homemade slushies. Well, today was a completely different story. He didn’t even want to think about food – let alone the medicine that he had to swallow. . .

Which makes me think about how painful repentance is. Because it is. It hurts. It hurts to take out that which is infecting or causing problems and it hurts to go through the process of healing! But in the end, if it is done correctly, everything is all better. Forever. Because of the Savior and His Atonement.

Boy, this week has been a great education for me!

Meekness, Weakness and Strength

Whenever I read Ether 12 and then blend that with Moroni 7, I am awed by the power and directness of Moroni's words

And wonder why he feels his writing is "weak" (Ether 12:23-25).

Because to me, Moroni's writing overcomes me as he testifies of faith in Jesus Christ, miracles, hope, discernment between light and dark, and, of course, charity - the pure love of Christ.

Today as I was pondering his words, this specific phrase tugged at my intellect and pulled at the understandings of my heart:

"My grace (meaning the Savior's) is sufficient for the meek, that they shall take no advantage of your weakness" (Ether 12:26).

While I understand this phrase in the context of what Moroni is describing, I meditated how it can be applicable to me.  That's when I thought about the many times, in my meekness-less, I have taken advantage of the weakness of others.

OUCH!

Because I have done it!!  Not knowing that I was being meekless, because I was only being RIGHT.

Double Ouch!

Moroni continues to share the words of the Savior, writing,

"If men come unto me, I will show unto the their weakness. . . that if they humble themselves before me, and have faith in  me, then will I make weak things become strong unto them" (Ether 12:27).

Weak things like being meekless to others . . .

or being slow to observe . . .

or quick to judge . . .

or complacent in service . . .

or selective in sharing.

And thankfully, Moroni shares the simple key to overcoming meeklessness -  The key of being "fit to be numbered among the people of His Church" (Moroni 7:39).

It is by having FAITH in Christ.

For faith brings hope.

And hope brings charity.

And charity, brings us to Him.

"That when He shall appear we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him like He is; that we may have this hope; that we may be purified even as He is pure."

He, who makes me - a weak thing - strong, because of His infinite, everlasting Atonement.

Spiritual Heart Surgery

I’d like to think I have a Christ-like heart.

Pure.

Humble.

Without guile.

However, in reality, my heart is a sinner’s heart, and truly, it needs to purged more than every once in a while.

For because I am not always long-suffering.

Or diligent.

Or forgiving.

Or kind-hearted.

Which I why I am so grateful the Atonement extends long and far enough to prod and filter and cleanse my heart from the sticky thickness of my wickedness.

So today, as I partook of the sacrament, listening carefully to the sacramental prayers being offered, I was pricked enough in my heart to be grateful for the spiritual surgery repentance has to offer.

Never Let An Earthly Circumstance Disable You Spiritually

Last night, my husband and I read together Elder Hallstrom’s April 2010 General Conference talk.

It took all I had to control the tender feelings that were stirring in my heart as he told the story of motherhood and death and the blessings that come as we rely upon the Atonement.

Which brought myself to ponder: What makes some of us turn bitter in the face of adversity? And what makes others of us humble and teachable and soft?

Mormon illustrates his observations by saying,

“Because of the exceedingly great length of [adversity] . . . MANY had become hardened . . . ; [however, on the other hand], MANY were softened because of their afflictions, insomuch that they did humble themselves before God, even in the depth of humility” (Alma 62:41).

None of us are exempt from life.

All of us have trials and hard times.

But those that I know who use their trials as a stepping stone to get closer to the Savior, teach me and influence my in ways and words I cannot rightfully express!

Click here to read about a woman who has been joyful because of her trial.  Her attitude has such a positive influence on my life. Click here for another sweet story about their family as they consider their trial - their MIRACLE!

After I read these posts I had to ask myself, what is really to gain when bitterness, anger, or contention is added to an already hard tribulation?

Elder Hallstrom offers this direct invitation:

"If you feel you have been wronged—by anyone (a family member, a friend, another member of the Church, a Church leader, a business associate) or by anything (the death of a loved one, health problems, a financial reversal, abuse, addictions)—deal with the matter directly and with all the strength you have. “Hold on thy way” (D&C 122:9); giving up is not an option. And, without delay, turn to the Lord. Exercise all of the faith you have in Him. Let Him share your burden. Allow His grace to lighten your load. We are promised that we will “suffer no manner of afflictions, save it were swallowed up in the joy of Christ” (Alma 31:38). Never let an earthly circumstance disable you spiritually."

Tidbit Tuesday - Atonement

“The Atonement is hardly a shield against sorrow; rather it is a rich source of strength to deal productively with the disappointment and heart breaks that for the deliberate fabric of mortal life. The gospel was given to heal our pain, not to prevent it.”

Bruce C. Hafen
The Broken Heart, Salt Lake City, Deseret Book, 1989, p.59