When I Was the Stranger . . .

As I listened to THIS talk this afternoon, I thought about these words of the Savior,

"I was a stranger, and ye took me in." 

For the first time I realized that there have been times in my life when I have been the stranger.

When I was hungry to know if going on a mission was really the right thing to do (I had my mission call and everything!), a well-respected man walked into my workplace, began a conversation with me, and left me with these words, "I wish my wife had served a mission for the sole purpose of the unique, self-tailored experiences she would have received." I knew it was the right thing for me to do.

When I was thirsty for spiritual water, a sweet sister in our ward who had eight children of her own, watched my five under five once a week so I could attend an Institute class.

When I felt naked and exposed to a pain I could hardly bear, a sister from the ward reached out and invited me to join in a neighborhood "playdate" group. While she didn't know how much I hated playdates, her friendship was healing balm to my deeply troubled soul.

I became sick with complications right after delivering my ninth child. While in emergency surgery, dear friends and precious family members prayed and exercised faith. I woke up in ICU surrounded by my concerned husband, my caring sister, and a cherished friend who had lost her husband a year prior and had yet to step into another hospital since his passing. I am still overcome with feelings of humble gratitude for the powerful love of wonderful people in my life.

When our family was made a prisoner to the housing crash in 2008, my visiting teaching companion became our landlord, blessing our family with experiences and deep friendships that set us free in so many ways.

Yes, I have been a stranger, and I was taken in.

Spirit to Spirit

Just this week a friend said this to me: "We are closest to those with whom we share spiritual experiences."

Interestingly, I have only known her for a very short time.  And even though our friendship is new, our relationship with one another has deepened quickly because of our mutual love for the Savior, our faith in His gospel and our committed desire to live and teach His doctrine.

And I have seriously pondered her statement!! I have been reflecting upon the relationships I cherish the most and, without reservation, her statement rings true.

But why? And how come?

Can a lack of spiritual connective-ness be a (the?) main reason why otherwise good marriages dissolve?

Are spiritual experiences connected to better parent/child relationships?

Are kindred spirits an earthly joining of deep spiritual friendships once had in the pre-mortal existence?

What can I do to have better spiritual relationships with my husband?  My children?  My family? Friends?

First of all, I am not a therapist or a researcher.  Nor I understand anything about psychology.  But as I have thought about this ALL week, the following doctrine taught by President Joseph Fielding Smith allowed me to expand my understanding of the power, influence and mission of the Holy Ghost.  President Smith says:

"The convincing power of the Holy Ghost is so great that there can be no doubt that what he reveals to is us is true.  When a man (or woman) has the manifestation from the Holy Ghost, it leaves an indelible impression on his (or her) soul, one that is not easily erased.  (And I think here is the key) It is Spirit speaking to spirit, and it comes with convincing force. A manifestation of an angel, or even of the Son of God Himself, would impress the eye and mind, and eventually become dimmed, but the impressions of the Holy Ghost sink deeper into the soul and are more difficult to erase."

President Smith also taught, "Through the Holy Ghost the truth is woven into the very fibre and sinews of the body so that it cannot be forgotten."

Perhaps this is one reason why denying the Holy Ghost is an unpardonable sin . . .

But this also explains why we become closest to those with whom we share spiritual experiences.   For because pure, spiritual relationships becomes "woven into the very fibre and sinews of the body so that it cannot be forgotten."

Even when life and time can remove us from each other's earthly presence. That woven-ness of spiritual friendship is that something that always will keep a relationship most dear.

Perhaps Anne Shirley (Anne of Green Gables) had it right when she said: "Kindred spirits are not so scarce as I used to think. It's splendid to find out there are so many of them in the world.”

My job, then, is to be willing to share and take part in all those spiritual relationships that are out there waiting.

Okay, So I'm Posting Already . . .

Finally.

After how many months?

I really have been meaning to sit down and write the things that are just oozing out of my heart and mind . . . but many times the call of motherhood trumps.

Trumps with a capital T.

And quite obviously, that trumping makes me blatantly aware that posting is not a necessity.

But the tuggings to post have been stirring quite wildly within me. And darn it, I haven't listened.

Nope. Not at all.

I've managed to brush aside every little (and big) inclination to post because the energy of a one year old folded into the emotional behaviors of teenagers mixed in with the cacophony of grade schoolers has made me, quite frankly, brainless.

Well, at least brainless in posting.

Because I am functioning rather well when it comes to doing laundry, making dinner, taking children to and from school, doing laundry, making dinner . . . (oh, I already said that)!

So with that, I have justified staying away from not only my blog, but blogs in general.

But on this Mother's Day morning, my tuggings and stirrings reared their persistent little heads and were made manifest in an email from a dear friend who, in part, wrote - "I woke up this morning thinking about your blog for some reason. I hadn't read it in a while and so I went there and saw you haven't written since March."

Since March?!

Yup, since March. And we all know that in the world in which we now live . . . March was SO last year!

So I've decided it's time to do something about my brainless, postless state and start following the tugging and stirring within my heart.

Happy Mother's Day!

My Children Are Like . . .

My children are like a band.
A rock band.
An extremely loud, heavy metal rock band, where everyone wants to be the lead singer at. the. same. time.
And everyday is a world(wind) tour.
And bedtime is a nightmare.
Honestly.
Have you ever tried putting a rock band to bed??

My parents are like water and oil.
My mom is the water. My dad is the oil.
Seldom are those two suspended together at the same.
And if they are, it lasts for about ummmm, this ----------- long.
But it works for them.
It will be 44 years (forty-four years!!!!) this year!

My husband is like an Uno wildcard.
He's all colors for me.
And there are times he makes me Draw Four. FOUR!
Truth be told, I am not. very. happy. about it when he does.
No, not happy at all.
And I put up one big, stinky fight.
But in the end, both of us come out Numero Uno.

Our landlady is like an angel.
I know heaven is watching over us because of her!

Four Weeks = An Eternity

For me, the Temple is one of the B.E.S.T. places to see people I haven't see in years.

And last night was no exception as I, quite literally, ran into my first missionary companion (a.k.a. Trainer) in the temple.

And as we had time to only visit for just a few minutes, I was amazed that one person could have had so much influence in my life in such a short amount of time.

For because we were only companions for four weeks!

Four weeks!

Because when I got to the mission field, she had 28 days or so before she went home from her mission!!

She being a seasoned 20 month missionary (yes, you read right, TWENTY MONTHS) and I, being the incoming eight-weeks-of-MTC greenie.
And yet, in that short period of time, her testimony of the gospel and her zeal for building the kingdom of God left an indelible impression upon my heart.

Just for the record, as soon as we left the apartment to work, my trainer spoke nothing but Spanish to me as we were walking and talking and teaching and knocking!!  Spanish.  And it wasn't the Spanish I heard in the MTC!  No, this one actually had a real accent and persons who talked back an wanted you to respond!!!

I laugh now because I did not understood a word.  Not one single word!  And yet, in those sweet moments of listening to her Spanish, the Lord was trying to teach me that if I worked as hard as my trainer, I would come to love the people and love the work as much as she did!

And do you know what else I discovered?  I discovered that sometimes, four weeks is long enough to be blessed for an eternity!

Blog Cliques

I suppose that if there are cliques at school, in the neighborhood, even in some wards,  why would I think cliques would not exist in the blog-world?

But they do!  And I find it fascinating!

Fascinating because, during my freshman year in high school, I became very acutely aware of all the clickety-click-click cliques around me.  So much so that it could have "crushed me into silent weakness." Instead, it was the turning point of my social life.

At age 14, I made a commitment that I would never belong to any exclusive group.  Instead, I would do everything I could to have as many different groups "belong" to me.

What resulted has been:
1. a wonderful adventure of not worrying about a BFF (besides my husband)
2. a stronger resilience of not being offended when not included (either intentional or unintentional)
3. an ability to give attention to those who do feel left out or uncomfortable in a group setting
4. a better understanding of what the Savior expects of me

Let me be clear, my decision not to be be part of clique has not always yielded happy circumstances. It has not always been bliss.  I have had my share (and will continue to, I am sure) of being left out, being ignored, being ill-received, and feeling lonely, isolated and forgotten.

But I will say, from conviction, that not being exclusive to any one group has allowed an inclusiveness to so many more.

So when I recently discovered that cliques also exist cyberspace and in taking a looksey over the blogs I visit on a regular basis, I was amazed that the commitment I made at 14 continues with me today - even in the blogosphere!!

So just for fun, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE, HERE and HERE is just a sample of some of the incredible blog links I visit on a regular basis.

Talents Shared

This scrumptiously delicious cupcake arrangement, along with the homemade cupcake stand, was hand-delivered to me this afternoon by my dear friend Blue.  (You just have to click RIGHT HERE to see a gallery of pictures showing off the pure talent this woman possesses.)

I have a pretty short list of things I can do.  Just FYI: Decorating Cakes and Crafts is on the very top of my five-mile long list of things I cannot do.  Nope.  I wasn't given the talent nor the patience for doing either.

So before we happily consumed DEVOURED those Oreo-cream filled chocolate cupcakes topped with mint frosting and bits of mint Oreo cookies, I took this photo to remind me of a few important things:

1. How grateful I am for dear friends and lasting friendships!
2. Enjoying the talents I do not posses comes when others share their incredible talents with me.
3. And boy, am I happy that chocolate was not one of the avoidable items in the Word of Wisdom!

Thank you Blue and Bunch and Gator!

My Sister in the Lord

Today I felt like Alma the Younger, who, after fourteen years of being separated from his brethren, was reunited with them. And what added to his joy was that “they were still his brethren in the Lord.”

I think the significance of that statement was NOT the fact Alma and his brethren had lived easy, luxurious lives for the past decade plus, finding themselves surrounded by fame and fortune. No, I think the joy of Alma’s heart stemmed from the fact each of them, individually, “had given themselves to much prayer and fasting” . . .for in those years, “they had many afflictions; they did suffer much both in body and in mind . . . and also much labor in the spirit.”

So much for fame or fortune.

But even after ALL the sufferings and afflictions, they were still his brethren in the Lord.

So today, I was able to have lunch with a dear friend, Blue, who, to my joy, in spite of all her afflictions and sufferings, remains my sister in the Lord.

We talked as much as we could in three hours to fill in all the things we have missed in the last TWENTY years!

And as I listened to this truly incredible woman recount her journey of faith and testimony and strength and afflictions, (click here) she opened my heart to feelings and emotions that fortify my deep, profound love to a loving Father in Heaven who loves us and cares for us and in His way sends to us tender mercies wrapped as Relief Society presidents, quotes, cookies on a plate, former missionary companions or friends of friends.

How I love Blue! And how I love Heavenly Father for letting me know her and learn from her!

P.S. She also makes THE BEST almond toffee I have ever tasted!!!

Help Me To Understand

On this day of fasting and prayer I spent a lot of time reading (and finishing) a book that opened my heart to raw emotion.

To pain.

To heartache.

To unanswered questions.

I could feel my heart swelling with a genuine desire to understand.

To understand others whose lives and situations don’t mirror mine.

I have a loved one who is experiencing extreme depression.

She loves her family very much and yet, she so desperately wants to be solitaire. Solo. All alone for a little while. (Well, alone with a stash of really, good dark chocolate).

And sadly, I don’t understand depression . . .

But I do remember the weeks after post-partum and how unsettling the world appeared and how dreadfully insecure I was about the “new” normal that had so suddenly seemed to occur (you’d think nine months is NOT sudden but post-partum makes it seem that way) . . .

So my heart cries out to a Father in Heaven to help her with a burden that seems so difficult to bear, particularly when you feel like bearing it alone.

I have a deaf friend, who, this week, received cochlear implants.

I don’t know what it’s like to be deaf or what transitions will need to take place in order to hear after years of not hearing . . .

But I do know what it’s like to have throbbing, penetrating overnight earaches.

So during this week, I have offered several quiet prayers on her behalf.  That the opposition of her pain will turn to a present-day miracle!

There’s a couple I know who is fighting Leukemia.

He is in ICU. She is by his side as the tug of children at-home and sleep deprivation stalk her.

He went from bad, to a little better, to worse this weekend.

I don’t know what it’s like to be at the side of a cancer patient – in ICU – and still have all the responsibilities of motherhood . . .

But I once experienced a father-in-law on life support with machines doing the work for him and the decision was made to take him off all the machines.

And send him Home.

Back to Father.

And my heart remembers that bitter sweetness and the sustaining power of the Holy Ghost that Sunday in July.

So I pray for God’s tender mercies to continue to manifest in the lives of these faith-filled, Plan of Salvation loving people.  I pray that he can go back home – to his earthly family - and that Father will see him at a later time.

So back to this book I read and finished today.

It peeled open my heart and inserted a great measure of tenderness.

It carved the important message “Try Understanding Others First!” in the deep fissures of my brain.

And it left me with a greater desire to pray with all the energy of my heart to be filled with charity - the pure love of Christ.

A Taste of Heaven

I attended a temple sealing today.

BTW - It was far more beautiful than any civil ceremony I have ever seen in person or on TV!

I knew the bride. Last year she was only 12 (well, at least it seems that way to me)!

She grew up overnight!

And today she was old enough (and worthy!) to be sealed in the temple for eternity to a worthy young man.

The wonderful thing about weddings is that it brings friends, from afar, together.

I was able to visit a couple who moved from our neighborhood eight years ago!

My husband and I had really only known them for a year. That's only 12 months. A mere 52 weeks.

And yet, this couple is so near and dear to my heart.

As I sat there next to them it felt as if we never did part.

As if we had been together these last eight years.

And I had to catch myself wondering why that is so.

How is it that there are people with whom our hearts knit together in love, in admiration, in gentle affection that no matter how short the earth time of being together, the time apart seems so trivial?

How can that closeness be felt when our earth time together was so immensely short?

I suppose that is the answer of heaven!

For heaven, I believe, is a sweet reunion of loved ones whose hearts have been knit together since the very beginnings of time.

And for some of those knitted hearts, the Lord has allowed earthly paths to cross and intertwine, even if it is for a short time.

So this morning, there in the temple sealing room, my heart swelled in faith-filled gratitude for the taste I had of what heaven will feel like!

An Example of the Believers

Today I had lunch with a friend I haven’t seen since Junior High!! That was AGES ago. And do you know what brought us together?  (No, it wasn't Facebook . . .)

It was because of her example to me many years ago.

We both were at a party. It wasn’t a bad party. There were no alcohol or drugs. But in one room – the main room - the movie of choice was “R” rated.

Of course I didn’t watch “R” rated movies, so I stood alone in the kitchen - wanting so bad to be accepted by this group of people – but knowing I couldn't . . . because I wouldn't.

Several friends came in and out to grab a handful of chips or a cans of soda. Each of them asked me why I wasn’t with “the rest of them” watching the movie. I made some lame-o excuses: I was hungry; Something was stuck in my contact – you know, stuff like that.

Then this girl walked into the kitchen. She asked why I was in the kitchen and not watching the movie with everyone else. I came up with a really good excuse when she looked at me and clearly and plainly said, "Oh! Well, I’m in here because I don't watch "R" rated movies!” She said it. Just. Like. That.

So you can only imagine how disappointed I was in myself for being more afraid of man more than of God.

You can only  imagine how ashamed I was that I wasn’t courageous enough just to say the REAL reason I was hanging out - alone (well, almost alone) - in the kitchen.

But at that moment - the moment my friend told me like it was - something changed in my heart. And I promised myself to never, ever let a situation like that happen to me again.

And today - almost THREE decades later - she and I got together to catch up on the years in between then and now.

And I was able to thank her - face to face - for that one night when she was truly an example of the believers.